I love you in the valley

Love, the force that makes the world go round. Love, with its impetus lives collide and become one. Love, its fruit takes flesh and bones in our sons and daughters.

Love is more than moons, stars and promises. Love is blue, thorns and cloudy skies. Love is covenant through pastures and valleys.

I have loved and been loved through high and lows. I have roamed freely on foreign lands hand in hand with my beloved, blissful love. Yet nothing makes me feel as grounded as loving through the valleys.

In the valley I have found true friendship, encouragement, stillness, compassion, hope, resilience, truthfulness, freedom…your hand and embrace.

In the valley, I have felt your love like a thousand waves washing over me, I don’t walk alone. In the valley, I have drank your silent tears, you are the salt of my earth. In the valley, I have heard the song of your dreams, even in hopelessness we can dance under the stars. In the valley, I have seen your eyes, free from pretense and agendas. I have stared into your vulnerable soul and found myself right there…tucked so close to your heart, we beat as one.

Your pain is my pain, your gain is my gain, your valley is my valley, this is our love.

I love you in the valley, this is my fortune.



Women who pump

Karol FeldmanI am still getting used to the word kids. Kids. I am now the mother of two amazing kids, 2 kids under the age of 2. Not for long though; Ava will be 2 in exactly 7 days. Elliott just turned 3 months which means many milestones have been achieved. One of those milestones is my return to work.

I am now a working mother of a toddler and a nursing baby. Days at the office are busy, meetings fill up the calendar and to-do lists grow with merciless speed, yet I have to find time to pump. Pumping is a hassle; hoses, breast shields, bottles, the incredible pressure of producing enough…oh the pressure. But I make time.

I make time to pump because breastfeeding is important to me; it gives me something to look forward to after a long day at work. I love feeling Elliott’s warm hands on my skin while he feeds, we reconnect, we nurture each other.

There is an incredible amount of guilt associated with ‘choosing work over your baby’. As a second time mom I have learned to not let guilt get the best of me. I love what I do and think that working makes me a better mom. All moms are different, there is no right or wrong way to handle life after a baby, there is an ideal fit for each woman and her family. In my case, the ideal fit involves a daycare for our toddler, a babysitter for our little man, and a job that allows me to be the mom I want to be.

I found that pumping is a great way to nurture my baby while I work, a great way to love him and stay connected. Sure, the process is a hassle, staying on top of my pumping schedule is not easy, trying to break away from long meetings for a pumping break can be awkward…I tell my male coworkers that I need to meditate, they must think I am really spiritual.

Pumping while I work makes me feel like super woman, more like super mom. People say women can’t have it all; let’s face it, no one can have it all.  I have a pretty sweet deal and feel really grateful for the gift of loving my baby through the act of pumping while we are separated.

I salute all the women who work and pump, it is not an easy task, it’s not sexy nor convenient; but to us it means the world. Proud of to be one of those women who pump.


Related: Early motherhood lesson